I wouldn't say it gets easier but it does change. The beginning is so different from 1 to 2 to 3 years, but the missing and longing never goes away. You just learn to live with it and give yourself room and permission to feel it.
Today, I think of how you would be at almost 4-years-old. You would already be in preschool and you would be going to Sunday school every week. I think you would love toy trucks and Star Wars because of your daddy, Disney princess movies and dress up because of your sisters, and story and cooking time because of mommy. You would be the perfect mixture of rough and tumbly along with your ever-present sensitive heart. Your hair would be blonder than ever and your crystal blue eyes would twinkle with joy.
I miss you every day bubsy, but what gets me through all the difficult times, when the loss threatens to overwhelm, is knowing, one day, we will be reunited. I look forward to hearing you laugh again and finally getting to dance with you while choirs of angels sing. Oh, what a glorious day that will be when I see you again and nothing will seperate us. Until then, I will continue to hold vigile. You are not forgotten. You are still loved beyond words and never doubt, mommy is coming to be with you one day.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Discovery Church helped me come up out of this hole I found myself in and my daughter started attending the youth group. We both looked forward to coming every week and I knew this was where we were supposed to be. I wanted to belong, so I found myself asking, ‘how can I get plugged in?’ I am very hospitable, so it was a natural fit when they wanted me to serve in the coffee ministry. I have always found myself helping out-that’s just who I am at my core-a servant. I truly believe it’s better to give than to receive and when you serve others, it’s a blessing."