I thought we would have
More time than we did
You should be here with me
That's how it should be
But every day
I have to live with how it is
Living without you
Is the hardest thing
I have ever had to do
I feel like I am holding my breath
Because I'm scared all the time
Ever since I lost you
I don't know who I am anymore
You were my everything
My sun and my moon
I don't want to be broken
But I don't know how to be whole
The very core of me
Has been ripped away
What do you do
When the love of your life dies?
Everywhere I go
You should be there
I look around and think
Can't anyone see me
Dying inside?
I go through the motions
Of living this life
Hoping one day
I won't feel so destroyed
But all I feel is left behind
And forced to face life
With you no longer here
I'm tired of life being this hard
All I want to do
Is crawl up into your blanket
And let the world melt away
Sometimes I wonder
Will this be the thing that breaks me?
Will your death be my undoing?
I don't want
My strength to turn to stone
I don't want
For you to be gone
I want you here in my arms
The moment I saw you
I knew you would change me
Forever
But I didn't think
It would be like this
You may be absent
From this world
But you will always be
The center of my heart
I love you
No matter if I live
Another 50 years
Nothing will erase
The memory of you
Very deep and heartfelt.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThank you for being so honest. My sweet Rudy died Feb 15th and some days I just want to die too. But he has an older brother and a twin sister plus 7 nieces I have to carry on for. Rudy was 28 and has Down Syndrome. He was a part of my every day and I miss him so much. I also blog on Word Press if you want to read it. I don't think it matters how old your child is... The grief is the same. I've lost a parent, a husband and many dear friends but none of them compare to this. I'm sending you hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteI agree. The age of the child doesn't matter it's just different. I'm sorry for your loss as well! I'm a year into my loss and the raw gut-wrenching pain doesn't come as often but has been replaced by a constant sadness below the surface that only a parent who has lost a child can understand.
DeleteI thot
DeleteDis was d beginning
Of a new chapter
In life
A transition
Transformation
After so much
Yearning
Waiting
Anticipation
Of praying
Of hoping
Of dreaming
N giving up
Controlling
Resisting
Snatched away
So soon..
While I was only
Just beginning
To get used to
Dis new life..
Dis new role
Of motherhood
Beautiful! So sorry from what is created though
DeleteAs I sat here reading those words, I found myself reading my words, my thoughts, my pain, my grief. For I too lost my beautiful 16 yr old daughter on 07-07-07 (http://www.latisha-morgan.virtualmemorials.com/) I am 7.5 years into my grief & I have not only been through hell & back, I also put my other children, family, friends, & the ex-husband-father (80% statistic) through that hell searching desperately for me again. Truth is.....I died the same day she died..... NEW NORMALCY .......If ever a time you would like to speak with someone that "CAN IMAGINE" never hesitate to contact me..... https://www.facebook.com/Lmorgan0707
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you went through all of that! We are traveling on such a tough road even though we are all at different places on it.
ReplyDelete