The tow truck driver: saying goodbye to my father

Tom Brandt 10-2-58 to 10-30-15

Our dad was the tow truck driver. This was the title he jokingly gave himself because he was the person in our family who was always cleaning up and fixing any kind of mess. From buying and taking shoes to one of the grandkids at school when their shoe broke to one of us locking ourselves out of the house three times in a period of an hour, yes that really did happen, he was the one person we all could depend on to come any time, any wear to help. Now, to most people, this could become daunting or even down-right annoying, but not to our dad. It was just who he was. Not only to us but to all those who knew him. He was a servant to everyone and would help anyone. From giving candy to a little girl in the laundromat whose mom couldn't afford it to adopting two children who were fatherless when he married their mother 20 years ago, he made everyone feel wanted and special. He truly was the kindness person in the world. Since his passing, hundreds of stories of generosity, selflessness and compassion have been told to us. Not surprising since his goal in life was to always demonstrate God’s love in everything he did and he never got tired of doing the right thing, no matter the cost. He changed our lives when he chose to be our dad. He showed us what to look for in a spouse and how to treat them once we got them by how wonderfully he treated our mother. We feel so privileged that God blessed us with him for as long as he did. He was the best husband, father and grandfather anyone could ever have.  And although we now must find a way to live without our tow truck driver, we can rest in the knowledge that we will see him again one day when we are reunited in Heaven. Until then, we will do our best to live up to the legacy he leaves behind by loving others, helping strangers and trusting God.

Lost Today Without You

I miss you so much today. Not sure why it's hitting so hard. Maybe it's because I've been dreaming about you again. When I wake up, all I can do is think about you. You're always there, haunting me in the background but on the really hard days, you are in the very forefront of my thoughts. I wish I didn't feel a pang of sadness when I think of you. The pain is so deep I feel like my heart is going to explode from the hurt. I want to remember the good times: how happy you were when you were here but it seems impossible when all I can do is feel the overwhelming loss. I didn't think this would be my life or that such a permanent wound would live inside me. Is this to be MY thorn in MY side? I think of Paul and hope to have the same courage he did when his thorn was not removed. He lived with it for the rest of his life and managed not only to survive but thrive. God help me to do the same. Help me to seek you, not look to myself. Help me to focus on what I have, not what I've lost. Help me to trust you, not give in to fear. Help me be your vessel, not shut down. Today has been hard. I'm not going to deny the bad days but I'm also not going to give in to them. I want to honor you, be the person you could be proud of. I love you, always, forever. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing could ever change that. You are, at my very core, the most important part of me. I guess that makes it normal then that I think about you all the time. How could it be any different when someone holds such a special place. Until I see you again,I will be thinking of you today and always.